Write to keep your pet's memory alive.

Write to remember.

​Write to sort the messy, uncomfortable thoughts floating around in your head.

Most of all, just write.
(If you're into that kind of thing...fine print in text.)



Scroll to end for writing prompts. Attention spans are short and I'm wordy.

Note: I'm here to share my experience. Writing is a tool that helps me process my grief, but there is no one way of processing loss. What works for me may not work for you.
Interested in artistic expression, but writing isn't your thing?
Check out the Show Your Story page

As a lifelong journaler, when Tovi was critically ill in the Pet ER, I wrote him letters and left them in a Ziplock bag that hung from his kennel.

In the letters, I told him how much I loved him, reminded him of all the good times we shared, and what I hoped for our future. I begged him to pull through.

My words weren't powerful enough to change destiny, but the practice of writing kept me connected to him even after he was gone.
 
So, I write to preserve the relationship.
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I write to give the heavy emotions a soft place to land outside of my head.
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This style of writing is designed to be messy, unfiltered, and unedited. 

It can be as simple as jotting random notes in no particular order on a piece of scrap paper, or as involved as writing a book (term used loosely).

In between can lie standalone essays to capture moments in time, an obituary, a letter (or series of letters) to your pet, captions beside photos in a scrapbook -whatever speaks to you.
 
This brand of writing is about the process, not the final product.

Your words are for YOU, so don't get stuck on formality or perfection.

​There is plenty of time to edit and expand later.
Get the words out while they are fresh in your mind.

Write while the memories are fresh in your mind.

While I'll never forget the feelings my Tovi evoked in me, the memories have lost their clarity. 

I would never have thought this possible, but time has proven me wrong.
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So just write.​​
​
A lack of experience can work in your favor. ​
 
A bark of caution...
Remembering can hurt! If it feels too heavy, take a break.

By forcing yourself to remember,  you risk re-traumatizing yourself.

If it doesn't feel good, HARD stop.
Maybe just for now, maybe forever.

Maybe set a timer to check in with yourself.

Our emotional strength to remember can shift with time.

Listen to what your body is telling you at this moment.

Handle Yourself with Care.

Emotional experiences are heavy.

 Go in with a list of ways to decompress.

Give your mind a vacation.
Listen. Watch. Read. Color. Needlepoint. Puzzle. Cook. Clean. Declutter.

Move it out.

Yoga. Fresh air. Walk. Run. Bike. Garden.

Talk it out.

Call a friend (or do today’s version of a call – text).

Self soothe.

Sip hot tea. Warm bath. Nap. Cry (yes, crying can be cleansing).

Fill-in-YOUR-blank.

When the pen runs dry, where the words go is up to you.
You can release them into the world.
Or keep them safely tucked in your journal.

Your words are for you.
And yet, our stories are both unique and universal.

Many times, we can’t identify what we are feeling until we hear our story reflected in someone else’s words.

They have the power to elicit a chain of “ah-ha” moments.

But that's not their primary job.
Healing others is not your responsibility.

There’s no right or wrong way. No formula. No moral value attached.
It's a deeply personal decision.
And it doesn't have to be made now.



 The Questions...

How did y'all find each other?
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What was your “Gotcha Day” like?
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Describe your relationship - Was it love at first sight? Complicated? Challenging?  Did you experience any struggles in the beginning, or did your pet slide right into the fabric of your life?

What was going on in your life when your pet came into it?

What are some of your earliest memories of your pet?
 
​   What life events did your pet witness? (marriage, divorce, kids, move, family death, etc). What memories does your pet hold?

Are there any people you would not have met but for your pet?

Have you and your pet traveled together? 

What is your best memory? What is your worst? 

What event(s) wouldn’t you have gotten through without your pet's support?

How did your relationship change over the years?

Do you have any regrets or wish for moments of “do-overs?” 

What emotion(s) did your pet evoke in you? 

What do you miss the most about your pet? 

How did losing your pet impact your life?

What lessons did your pet teach you?.

If you had the opportunity, how did you say goodbye?

Did your pet leave any scars (bite or scratch marks) that you may have disliked at the time, but have become treasured reminder of them?

Do you ever get the feeling your pet is still with you, and how does that show up?

Imagine what your pet would say to comfort you during your grief.

Write a letter to your pet with anything and everything you want them to know.

Write a letter to your pet asking for forgiveness for any perceived bad moments in your relationship (behavior issues you overreacted to, harm you unintentionally caused/didn't prevent, etc).

Write a letter to your pet updating them on your After.


The Lighter Side
 
What were some of your pet’s unique quirks?
 
Did your pet have a nickname?
 
What was your pet's favorite toy?
 
Did your pet make any distinctive noises (snore, purr, whimper, talk in their sleep, etc)?
 
What was your favorite activity to do together?
 
Was your pet friends with any other animals? What were some of those relationships like?
 
What were some of your pet’s favorite foods?
 
Where was your pet's favorite place to sleep?
 
What were some of your pet’s special toys?



Have a prompt to add or a TAIL to share?
PetTherapyNotes@gmail.com

This is an authentic invitation—no empty niceties here.

But it's also a deeply personal experience, and I get that.

Just know, if you want to share, my arms are open to receive. 
And I will keep it safely there.
Unless you tell me otherwise.

​
 Check out Pet Therapy Notes homepage for insights and coping skills for the many ways we can experience pet love & loss.
 
 

Related blog posts for insight into the writing experience:

On Pet Loss: How Writing Helped Me Process Grief and Preserve Memories: Let's just say, there was a lot to work through.

Writing About My Dead Dog Is Too Painful — Even So, I Keep Trying