Grief needs a warning label: It can feel like a type of intoxication in the way it distorts how we interpret our experience.

 

After experiencing a loss, it’s common to isolate. And while we need to honor all feelings and needs, it’s also important to know that the mind on grief cannot always be trusted.

 

The stories we tell ourselves can prey on our vulnerabilities, magnify negative thoughts, amplify our self-blame, and convince us that we are at fault - as if we meant to harm our pet.

 

 And once it pulls you in, it's hard to get unstuck. It can feel like sitting alone on a seesaw, gravitationally unable to move.

 

We turn against ourselves during a time when we most need that comfort and self-compassion.

 

By inviting others’ voices in, we open ourselves to a broader and more balanced perspective. Someone who isn’t “in it” has the benefit of distance and can offer a type of comfort and framework we may not be able to give ourselves.

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Even if you aren’t ready to integrate a new perspective into your story, just knowing an alternate story even exists, is the first step to getting unstuck.

 

Support and perspective can come in many forms: support groups, counseling, or simply talking with a friend who “gets” us. You'll find ways to connect to support below.

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If this level of direct interaction isn’t your thing, or doesn’t yet feel tolerable, support can also come from independent learning. You can find my most loved books, podcasts, articles, and videos on the everything grief page.

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