Photo by Jan Kahánek on Unsplash If you're familiar with my work, you've heard my motto, "Every Pet has a TAIL to Tell." To read more about the power of writing, and find writing prompts, check out the Tell Your Tail page, To put it simply, I believe in the power of writing to heal. To process. To give the heavy emotions a soft place to land outside our heads. To preserve the relationship. The connection. To capture memories in a tangible form – kind of like a photo expresse

Phot by Author "Fred" I believe in the power of writing to heal. To process. To give the heavy emotions a soft place to land outside of your head. To preserve the relationship. To maintain connection. To preserve memories in a tangible way. Like a photo but with words. I curated this collection of writing prompts as a place to start. Grief isn't one-size-fits-all. Answer all. Answer one. Answer none. They’re in no particular order. Take what speaks to you and leave the rest f

The physical loss of a pet is a uniquely hard loss to process, and in my opinion, the most difficult to reconcile. And yet, I find it to be the most unaddressed. While there are many resources dedicated to physically locating a lost pet, there are few to support the emotional impact of this loss. As someone deeply interested in understanding all the ways we can experience pet loss, this has always felt unsettling. From the day I brought my first dog home (Circa 2005), the ver

Screenshot www.petfinder.com You are profoundly lonely and drowning in brokenness. Your house is eerily quiet - the void of meows, barks, and pitter-patter of feet is unbearable. Maybe you swear off ever getting another pet because the pain of losing them is unbearable. Perhaps you yearn for that unique brand of companionship, but get stuck on the “when” and the weight of feelings like guilt and betrayal that stop you in your tracks. If you’re anything like me, doing nothin

"Yes To Care" Logo How guaranteed payment, non-credit-based payment plans & community donations to support medical care can keep families together, and how you can bring this to your practice. As an Intake Specialist at a municipal shelter, I work with pet parents to overcome barriers to care and help more pets remain in loving homes. In a time when the human-animal bond is increasingly valued, affordable access to care is supported through low-cost vaccine clinics, spay/neut

Photo courtesy of Davincifield This post is a result of my collaboration with Dr. Elani Nicolaou, Art Therapist & Creative Wellness Expert for Davincified Premium Paint by Numbers Kits. When I come across a product I believe in, I get excited about sharing it, which is how we landed here. Please know this is not a paid advertisement, and I do not receive any financial benefit from Davincified. If the idea of an art project intimidates you, hear me out: This is one area where

Photo by author I’ve been an on-and-off journaler since my sophomore year of college (2001), when my best friend brought me back a buttery soft leather journal from her semester abroad in Florence. The truth is, I leaned on journaling during the heavier times of my life, and sixteen years later, in December 2017, things were going remarkably well. I was recently divorced from a man who was never meant to be my husband, remarried to the man who was, and living in a house with

Screenshot - Adopt-a-Pet Historically, self-rehoming has been viewed as irresponsible and even dangerous, but times are changing, and today, it’s part of the solution when done responsibly. Let me be very clear, though: Self-rehoming will not be appropriate in every situation, but when the circumstances align, shelters are educating owners about safe and responsible self-rehoming strategies, and it’s been a major game-changer. How did we get here? Animal welfare organizations

Photo by Amy Mc Beyond the Shelter: The Evolving Role of Self-Rehoming in Animal Welfare Historically, self-rehoming has been viewed as irresponsible and even dangerous, but times are changing, and today, it’s becoming part of the solution when done responsibly. In fact, you might be surprised to learn that the first question many shelters are asking when an owner reaches out to surrender their pet is whether they can keep the pet in their care while they look for a new home.

Author visiting her dog in the hospital. Circa Jan 2018 I was never mentally prepared for my dog, Tovi’s, death. It was something that honestly didn't cross my mind as a thing that would happen. Sure, I intellectually knew he wouldn't live forever, but I never actually imagined a life without him, so when he died, I was utterly unprepared for That Life. When Tovi was twelve years old, I recall being struck by an article I came across while mindlessly scrolling on social media

Ms. Roxy Capris (Photo courtesy of proud dad, Barry Starr) After your pet leaves your life — no matter what the circumstances — there is a high likelihood you are experiencing some level of guilt or regret. That’s just how we humans operate. As pet parents, it's on us to make hard decisions, and when the outcome isn’t what we had hoped, we tend to feel a sense of over- responsibility for the loss. We have a way of turning inward and blaming ourselves for things we never had t

There is a distinct type of grief that comes with not having the idyllic relationship you assumed would come with pet ownership. When you don’t feel that “connection,” it’s normal to feel a sense of disappointment and mourning for what you expected pet parenting to look like. This is a real struggle for many pet owners, and it’s only reinforced when we see only perfectly behaved, adorable pets portrayed in popular media. I liken it to body shaming for humans, and it’s a setup

Photo by Natasha Cara Animal rescue is exhausting, to put it mildly. We encounter situations that make us question humanity, and it takes a heavy emotional toll to see pets discarded like an outfit that has gone out of style. Pet overpopulation is at crisis levels, and there are areas of the country where healthy animals are being euthanized simply because there isn’t enough space to house them. I understand why people are angry and quick to judge, but somewhere along the way

The Facebook post that led me to Fred (he sounds like an angel, right)? You might be surprised to know there is a phenomenon known as the “puppy blues.” It refers to feelings of depression, anxiety, or overwhelm while adjusting to life as a pet parent. You went into pet ownership assuming it would be pure bliss, but it’s turning out to be a nightmare (or at least a really bad dream you can’t wake up from). The thing is, these “blues” can arise anytime a new pet is introduced

So many “what-ifs.” So many “I shouldn’t haves.” So many wishes for do-overs. "Charter" Photo by Scarlett Blackiston If I had a superpower, it would be the ability to rewind time in two distinct ways. The first would be the ability to travel through a time machine and visit the different versions of myself I’ve tried on at any given time. I would savor ordinary moments spent with people who are no longer in my life, whether through death, breakups, or friends who were only me

Photo courtesy of The Senior Dog Sanctuary of Maryland It is heartbreaking to hear stories of pets losing their homes and families and ending up in shelters. These situations are often colored with assumptions and judgements about circumstances we know nothing about. I was inspired to write this after seeing a Facebook post about a man who lost his housing and had no way of caring for his best friend. This story has a happy ending because the man reunites with the dog once hi

Photo by Author "Pet Bereavement Box" When I am in the presence of a person grieving the loss of their beloved pet, I suddenly forget everything I know about grief and find myself at a loss for words. Like really stumbling on my words. Being a witness to big emotions feels uncomfortable and awkward. Yes, I’m referring to myself here— someone whose life is devoted to studying pet loss. In the company of someone else’s grief, I feel helpless, so naturally, I put an insane amoun

Photo by author After my dog died, I cried all of the time. I didn't just cry; I wore my tears as a badge of honor. I took pride in the fact that I was falling apart. I wanted the world to see how broken I was, and I feared the day I stopped crying would signify I had moved on, and that was something I never wanted to do. The grief was my last connection to Tovi, and I held onto it for dear life. After months of blowing up my life, I saw a therapist who suggested I carve out

Photo by Erin Scott When Sharla set out to get a dog, she assumed he would lie beside her on the couch, run along the beach, sit underneath an outdoor table at Starbucks while she worked, and hop into the car for a ride to the dog park. This is what we see on TV, right? We’re surrounded by images of face-licking, tail-wagging, running off into the distance to catch a ball off-leash dogs. I call it the “Hallmark Dog Syndrome” and liken it to body shaming toward humans — only t

This page has moved! This blog has been updated, and this page has moved! New link below: Adopting After Loss: Lessons from a Rebound Relationship - And the Most Important Question I Never Asked. --- Visit my website, Pet Therapy Notes, for resources and more insights on pet love and loss. Related blog posts... When You Regret Adopting Your Dog: Don't Worry, It Gets Better Canine Love on the Rebound (originally published in the Chicago Tribune)