A place for all the hard pet convos no one prepares you for.
Resources for every brand of grief
(even when no one died).
anticipatory grief:
the grief before the loss actually happens
Anticipatory grief is a type of grief we experience when our beloved pet is still living, but we are very aware that their death is imminent. It's the grief related to the knowing that they will soon no longer be with us. We mourn the version of our beloved pet we've always known, and struggle to reconcile the fact that that version is never coming back, and we are helpless to change that.
For some, anticipatory grief feels heavier than the traditional grief felt after a beloved pet has died. This is especially true if the pet's death is a product of a prolonged illness. Many people report feelings of guilt when they realize they were more distraught before their pet died than after the actual death- anticipatory grief is why this may occur. You have been deeply grieving for a long time, and sometimes there is a sense of peace when the suffering is over. Theirs and yours.
And sometimes an entire new brand of grief will take over. The grief experience varies for everyone. There is no set formula.
Below, you will find my own personal writing on the blog, and my most loved external resources for all aspects of end-of-life care.
support.
Kate LaSala, CTC, CBCC-KA, PCBC-A, CSAT, FFCP-E
As a certified pet loss grief companion and an end-of-life companion animal doula, Kate has helped clients through the many faces of pet loss, including the weight of caregiver burden associated with caring for an ill pet.
Lap of Love is a veterinary hospice and in-home euthanasia service with MANY resources on end-of-life care, including quality-of-life assessment tools. They also offer a variety of pet loss support groups, including an "Anticipatory Grief Group."
articles.
"When Is It Time to Say Goodbye?"
Free downloadable guide by Kate LaSala - Pet Death Doula
Euthanasia: How Do I Know When the Time Is Right for My Pet?
How to Cope When Your Pet is Ill
Considering Your Pet's Quality of Life in the Midst of Disease
audio.
Pet Loss & Managing Anticipatory Grief
Lap of Love Co-founder Dr. Mary Gardner and pet loss expert Coleen Ellis discuss coping with and managing anticipatory grief so that you can enjoy this precious time with your beloved pets (YouTube)
How to Say Goodbye To Your Pet
How To!
Good Grief with Nikki the Death Doula
Planning for a Peaceful End: Ensuring Quality of Life and End-of-Life Care for Our Animal Companions
Tanja Philhower, MSW, LGSW (YouTube)
Pet Loss Series: Knowing When It's Time
Ken Dolan Del Vechio
books.
Surviving the Heartbreak of Choosing Death for Your Pet
Linda Mary Peterson
Preparing for the Loss of Your Pet: Saying Goodbye with Love, Dignity, and Peace of Mind
Myrna Milani, DVM
from the blog.
Don't Wait For the Crisis: Why It's Important to Think About End-of-Life Care Now
other.
The Tilly Project is an international 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that aims to connect pet owners with end-of-life pet photographers across the world - services free or discounted - varies by photographer.
visit support to connect with individual providers and support groups.