Author and her dog, Tovi Circa 2018. I’ve always found a certain beauty in being in a state of brokenness. A silent, peaceful grace where reality grazes somewhere between the gutting truth and a surreal sense of twilight anesthesia. Life slows down. You realize things. You see things – truths, moments of gratitude and devastation, regrets. You feel. Like a dog nestled beneath a heavy down comforter, I’m anchored in bed. A predawn darkness and chill in the air bring heaviness

Author visiting her dog in the hospital. Circa Jan 2018 I was never mentally prepared for my dog, Tovi’s, death. It was something that honestly didn't cross my mind as a thing that would happen. Sure, I intellectually knew he wouldn't live forever, but I never actually imagined a life without him, so when he died, I was utterly unprepared for That Life. When Tovi was twelve years old, I recall being struck by an article I came across while mindlessly scrolling on social media

Ms. Roxy Capris (Photo courtesy of proud dad, Barry Starr) After your pet leaves your life — no matter what the circumstances — there is a high likelihood you are experiencing some level of guilt or regret. That’s just how we humans operate. As pet parents, it's on us to make hard decisions, and when the outcome isn’t what we had hoped, we tend to feel a sense of over-responsibility for the loss. We have a way of turning inward and blaming ourselves for things we never had th

So many “what-ifs.” So many “I shouldn’t haves.” So many wishes for do-overs. "Charter" Photo by Scarlett Blackiston If I had a superpower, it would be the ability to rewind time in two distinct ways. The first would be the ability to travel through a time machine and visit the different versions of myself I’ve tried on at any given time. I would savor ordinary moments spent with people who are no longer in my life, whether through death, breakups, or friends who were only me

Photo by Erin Scott of Believe in Dog Podcast When it comes to pet loss, pet parents often have to make hard decisions on behalf of their pets. It’s a heavy weight to carry, and it can get messy — really messy — with a lot of editing as if what happened is some sort of a draft we can rewrite. Decisions are hard to make in the first place, and after we see an outcome we don’t like, they become more painful as we glorify the option we didn't choose. But the thing is, regardless