Author and her dog, Tovi Circa 2018. I’ve always found a certain beauty in being in a state of brokenness. A silent, peaceful grace where reality grazes somewhere between the gutting truth and a surreal sense of twilight anesthesia. Life slows down. You realize things. You see things – truths, moments of gratitude and devastation, regrets. You feel. Like a dog nestled beneath a heavy down comforter, I’m anchored in bed. A predawn darkness and chill in the air bring heaviness

Screenshot www.petfinder.com You are profoundly lonely and drowning in brokenness. Your house is eerily quiet - the void of meows, barks, and pitter-patter of feet is unbearable. Maybe you swear off ever getting another pet because the pain of losing them is unbearable. Perhaps you yearn for that unique brand of companionship, but get stuck on the “when” and the weight of feelings like guilt and betrayal that stop you in your tracks. If you’re anything like me, doing nothin

Ms. Roxy Capris (Photo courtesy of proud dad, Barry Starr) After your pet leaves your life — no matter what the circumstances — there is a high likelihood you are experiencing some level of guilt or regret. That’s just how we humans operate. As pet parents, it's on us to make hard decisions, and when the outcome isn’t what we had hoped, we tend to feel a sense of over-responsibility for the loss. We have a way of turning inward and blaming ourselves for things we never had th

So many “what-ifs.” So many “I shouldn’t haves.” So many wishes for do-overs. "Charter" Photo by Scarlett Blackiston If I had a superpower, it would be the ability to rewind time in two distinct ways. The first would be the ability to travel through a time machine and visit the different versions of myself I’ve tried on at any given time. I would savor ordinary moments spent with people who are no longer in my life, whether through death, breakups, or friends who were only me

Photo by Author "Pet Bereavement Box" When I am in the presence of a person grieving the loss of their beloved pet, I suddenly forget everything I know about grief and find myself at a loss for words. Like really stumbling on my words. Being a witness to big emotions feels uncomfortable and awkward. Yes, I’m referring to myself here— someone whose life is devoted to studying pet loss. In the company of someone else’s grief, I feel helpless, so naturally, I put an insane amoun

This page has moved! This blog has been updated, and this page has moved! New link below: Adopting After Loss: Lessons from a Rebound Relationship - And the Most Important Question I Never Asked --- As always, my writing is based on my own opinions and experiences and should not be taken as fact or considered professional advice. Visit Hard Pet Days for resources and more insights on pet love and loss. Related blog posts... Canine Love on the Rebound: A Tail of Love and

Photo by Erin Scott of Believe in Dog Podcast When it comes to pet loss, pet parents often have to make hard decisions on behalf of their pets. It’s a heavy weight to carry, and it can get messy — really messy — with a lot of editing as if what happened is some sort of a draft we can rewrite. Decisions are hard to make in the first place, and after we see an outcome we don’t like, they become more painful as we glorify the option we didn't choose. But the thing is, regardless